I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
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