Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
