Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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