I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
