You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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