Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
