closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
