I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize