So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
