last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
