Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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