i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You are a genius and a whore.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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