If i come over, it means nothing
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
