Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
