apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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