"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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