The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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