Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
