Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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