WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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