I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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