i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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