It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
