I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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