you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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