Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
