You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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