I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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