i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
