remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
