Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
well you can't waste a boner
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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