I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
