guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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