So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
