Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
handjob tips. give me some.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
