Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
cat food counts as protein by the way
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
