She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
