he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
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The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
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Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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