is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
