Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
