Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
