New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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