didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
