My nipple is on Facebook.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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