i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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