playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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