i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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