she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
