The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize