i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
