Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
