burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
