At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
