so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
