u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
