how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
