If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
