she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
