im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
3pm strippers are depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize