You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
