from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
