I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
